So with as amazing this past week has been and as much as God has blessed me, why do I feel a certain discontent? Somewhere deep inside I know that God is beckoning me to do more than I already am. Even though I feel as if I'm doing so much already as it is, I feel as if I know I'm not doing enough. When I was walking the other day, just adoring the view of the mountains before me, I felt close to God, as if just walking along with Him, talking to him every step of the way, asking for more to be revealed, so that I may know where to go and what to do. I've really began to try to discourage the distractions which are around me yet I know this isn't enough. I know I need to read the bible more than I have and study it to the core. Right now, all I can seem to do is just pray for the love of God and understanding which I am lacking. A guidance, which, up to the point that I am at, I've understood well, but now I find myself watching the horizon.
I've shared my testimony of what took place over the last few years to anyone that would lend an ear yet I know He is telling me it's not enough. I was blessed with the chance to witness God saving my life in a war against the Devil which is amazing BUT only if I tell the story to as many of His children as I can. I was called to do so and I know in my heart what I must do yet I'm praying for Him to show me more so that I may understand just how to do so. In a recent sermon that I heard at the Upper Room in Port Angeles, the pastor asked everyone, "What gift is it that God has given you to reach out and share with people the Kingdom of Heaven?. Then the pastor asked that same question in a way that stirred me up very much when he asked, "What gift is it that God has given you, that, you are coveting and not using to share the Kingdom of Heaven?". My heart hit the floor and I realized that my ability to tell stories through both the means of writing and mouth was a gift that I am not using to the full extent like I should.
I'm getting antsy, so much to the point I'm almost getting pushed out the door to just witness to the homeless, letting them know that God loves them too. For it is like I tell anyone that hears my story, "if God fought for me to find His love, it is because He loves me even though I've always felt that I am not worthy. Which if God loves me then He surely loves you as well". For I know that my heart in the past has been nothing but lust that has defiled my very being. I am no better than anyone and more than likely I am a lot worse than many yet God loves everyone and I've been so blessed to bear witness to this. He saved me from the hands of evil and I feel obligated to help people find God so that He can save them from those very same hands. For this is why we are here, this is our purpose in life, this is what it's all about, saving our fellow brothers and sisters through His name, by letting them know how much He loves them, not through words alone, but by showing them that same love that Jesus showed us when he died on the cross for our sins. Jesus then ressurrected, opening the glory of the Kingdom of God to all those who follow His way, because He loves us so much. However, many, like my former self, do not feel worthy of His love, shying away from His affection, afraid, for they know their hearts are also defiled being filled with corruption and sin. Yet if God did not see the love in our hearts too, then why would He send His only son to die for us? God knew that we are all very lost sheep and loves us beyond anything we can comprehend. Loves us so much that not only did He send His only son to die for the sins of the world BUT He still reaches out to everyone with love even when our hearts are hardened much like my own. Like a father that never gives up on his kids no matter what they do, He helped me not once or twice but MANY times in life when I certainly did not deserve His love.
With all that being said and written, I need to stay focused, remember His love, and spread His word to all those who are lost like I was. For the wolf is always near, trying to take away God's sheep, and I like many others have been called to use Gods story through me to save them. In fact, truth is, we are all called in different ways to spread Gods word and love all those we meet. I am not worthy and I never was, yet I love Him with all my heart for He is watching me and loves me. God bless all those who read this and please call me at anytime to meet up or listen by phone to my testimony of God's glory and love personally. I will be writing my testimony very soon in detail, so stay posted if reading is what you'd rather do. Email me for my number to listen by phone or meet at dreaminginahammock@yahoo.com and feel free to share this with anyone.
Contact:
dreaminginahammock@yahoo.com,
Daniel Gillam,
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